Internet torn over man who refused to visit an adulterous ex after she was stillborn

Some relationships aren’t made to go far, no matter how much either party tries to make things work. According to the CDC, the divorce rate in 2020 was 2.7 for every 1,000 people. The number has fallen by almost 12%, but it is still a lot of broken relationships. For a man who posted on Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” forum, the marriage led to a pregnancy despite their eventual breakup. Then things got all complicated.

“Me and my ex divorced 5 months ago because she came out as a lesbian. I didn’t want the baby when she came to me because I felt it would be uncomfortable for us to co-parent and I wanted no contact with her,” the man known as “u/gomma_ba” wrote in the viral thread. “However, she wanted to keep the baby, so I accepted her decision and stopped talking about it.”

He continued: “A few weeks ago the baby was born almost 2 months premature and turned out to be still born. I was in a business meeting so I texted her I was sorry for her loss and I have flowers sent to her.”

The man explained that the woman’s friend and her family called and texted, “to say I’m a heartless jerk for not meeting her in the hospital after such a traumatic experience.”

He added: “My ex called me and said I should be really happy I got what I originally wanted. To be honest, while I feel sorry for her loss, I’m relieved that we don’t have to keep in touch anymore and I can move on with her.”

He went to the forum to ask if he is wrong and it turns out the internet is divided.

sad woman art
Sad woman art.
Ponomariova_Maria/iStock/Getty Images Plus

‘NTA. You’ve sent flowers and stuff, and people haven’t accepted that you’re not married anymore. They need to get out of their heads that you’re not married anymore, even though she doesn’t have a new husband. Straight norms can be stifling at times,” Mayotroll said.

“NTA. There’s nothing wrong with not visiting someone you already planned not to have in your life anyway. You acknowledged the loss. Sent flowers. Sounds like what a decent person would do to someone who is an ex and that’s not even ‘in your life’ technically. Everything out there sounds like they just wanted and had expectations of their own. Not your fault, she wanted more from you… A now ex. They’ll get over it,” Organic -Pipe- 86 wrote.

“Hmm…I’m conflicted. I’m going to say NTA though. He didn’t want a kid with someone cheating on him and then felt compelled to have a life connection with that person. Nobody wants that,” said Hades Slytherin in part.

Ok_Perspective_9796 added: “She probably wanted to grieve with you… Since you were the father… And she’s sad. The birth of a stillbirth is the saddest and most traumatic thing there is.”

The post received more than 10,000 upvotes and 1,600 comments at the time of this article.

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