The internet backed a woman who checked her husband’s pants before washing them.
In a new viral post published on Reddit’s infamous “AmITheA**hole” forum, a woman under the username u/Leigh20220 posed the question “AITA for going through my husband’s pants without asking him first?” The post has more than 10,000 likes and 3,000 comments.
While she was doing the laundry, the Redditor searched her husband’s work trousers to make sure there was nothing left in the pockets before putting them in the wash.
“My husband happened to be walking by and when he saw me looking in his pants pockets he ran in and yelled for me to drop his pants. I already had a folded piece of paper out, but he snatched it away and then started hitting me. yelling about how I disrespect his privacy and that I shouldn’t get my hands on his stuff. I was really stunned that I told him to take it easy, I always do this before washing,” she wrote.
He got mad at her, saying she should have asked him first because he was afraid there were “important documents” in his pants. She told him that important documents, such as the scrap of paper, should not be folded in his work trousers. After asking him what was on the paper, he refused to show her.
She wrote: “I asked why and he said I can’t ask him asshole after I didn’t respect his privacy. I almost laughed because what privacy does he have in his pockets? It wasn’t like a stranger was digging in them.”
Privacy is important in a relationship, but some requests for privacy can seem suspicious.
“Every partner is allowed a certain amount of personal privacy. That’s healthy and normal in a good relationship,” relationship expert Susan Winters told Elite Daily. “If the partner is hiding something from you, there’s a problem.”
“It means your partner is afraid of your reaction. Hiding information is a protective move. Either your partner is afraid of your reactivity, or they have done something so horrific that you are (rightly) upset,” she continued.
Some signs to look out for are a change in typically normal things, including the way they text, their emotions, and whether they are becoming more vague about what they are doing.
Winters explained what to do if you experience this with their partners.
“In healthy relationships, we need to be able to communicate without fear of repercussions. If either partner feels unsafe revealing the truth, they will hide the truth,” she said. “Setting ground rules for safety in telling the truth is a fundamental principle of a healthy partnership. While you may not like what they have to say, it’s much better that you know what’s going on.”
Since the predicament, the couple has not spoken. She revealed that he bought his own personal closet with a lock on it to “teach her a lesson” not to look in other people’s clothes.
“NTA. He’s clearly hiding something. No sane person who has nothing to hide locks up his clothes. It’s perfectly normal to go through pockets when doing the laundry, to get out forgotten cash or receipts,” wrote u/MiruTheSloth in the top comment. , with 11,000 votes. “I bet there was a phone number on that piece of paper.”
“NTA. Checking bags for things that don’t go in the washing machine is one of the first steps of the wash, it’s not sniffing. That’s a really weird reaction,” you/cassanthrax noted.
U/MadPiglet42 said: “NTA and bonus? Husband does his own stupid laundry from now on! THAT SAYING, there are some big red flags waving here and you should get a lawyer because I don’t think this marriage is going to last.”
“NTA, but that man cheats on cheating,” wrote u/Crocodiles_Hoe.
“You’re not going to do any laundry for him in the future, right? That should teach him a little respect. And oh yeah, he’s lying about something,” u/esmithedm explained.