A mother has gained the support of online commentators after she claimed she fired her nanny for “acting sick” to get a day off.
The mom shared her story on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” forum under the username u/Entire_Caterpillar55. The post has received more than 8,000 votes and more than 900 comments.
She explained that she and her husband both adored their nanny, Marie; however, they had had several issues with her before she pretended to be sick.
“[S]he let the kids have way too much screen time, she spent more time on her phone than with the kids, she messed up and let the kids mess up and she wouldn’t clean up after them, she had friends over without letting us know you, she made the kids eat junk food instead of feeding them real food,” the mother explained.
The couple warned Marie several times, but let the nanny work for them anyway.
At one point, Marie took three days off and claimed to be “very sick.” So, despite the fact that the mother was in the middle of a “big project” at work, she took time off to stay at home with her children.
During one of Marie’s sick days, the mother decided to take her children to a local water park. However, she was shocked when she ran into Marie who was enjoying a day there with her friends.
“Marie started apologizing and told me her best friend had gotten tickets to the park and she wanted to go and she didn’t think I was going to give her a day off,” the mother explained.
But the mother was angry that Marie had lied. In her post, she claimed that if Marie had told the truth, she would have given her a day off. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. So she pulled Marie aside and fired her.
In response to commentators who assumed Marie was a teenager worthy of a second chance, the mother explained that Marie is a 26-year-old university-trained nanny with previous experience.
Still, she wanted to know: Was she wrong not to give Marie another chance?
When it comes to firing a nanny, Care.com author Corey Kagan Whelan recommended that parents take several steps to avoid unnecessary tension.
Once the problem has been identified and expectations have been communicated, it’s time to make a plan with backup childcare, Wheelan said. Once these steps are completed, parents should schedule a time to talk to their nanny to end their employment.
However, author Tory Johnson told Wheelan that this conversation should not be done in front of the kids.
“There’s no need to expose children to these kinds of adult situations and this can embarrass the caregiver as well,” Johnson said.
The majority of commenters agreed that the mother was right to fire Marie; however, some felt she was wrong to do this in public at the water park.
“NEW [not the a**hole]. But extremely inappropriate to fire her while she’s in the park,” u/louisebelcher99 said [have] waited until the next day to talk to her or called her later that night.”
Redditor u/lotsofcache added: “And not in front of the kids. NTA.”
Others, however, believed that the mother had every right to publicly fire Marie.
U/nurse_krachet responded to a commenter who expressed that firing Marie at the water park was “vengeful”, u/nurse_krachet said: “It wasn’t vindictive. Marie had a lot of warnings… I would have fired Marie on the spot too. This is equivalent to firing an employee who is late for the hundredth time.”
“[S]he lied and she needs to be called out for it. OP did say she was taking her aside,” u/AlexGrace21 said.
Redditor u/krazy_187 added: “This was the easiest way to let her know she should start looking for another job once she’s done with her ‘sick day’…a day or 2 + travel time and expenses… or what?Fire her over texting?No.
“OP made the right decision by pulling her aside and being discreet – she showed more respect for her nanny than she got,” they continued.