Members of a popular internet forum were tired after a man described how his girlfriend put her sister in his house behind his back.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/simpleguyy6 (aka the original poster or OP) was adamant that he didn’t want his partner’s 28-year-old sister living with him, explaining how it almost happened before he quickly intervened.
titled, “[Am I the a**hole] because I didn’t allow my girlfriend’s sister to move in with her and change the locks?”, the viral post has received nearly 11,000 votes and 1,600 comments in the past 9 hours.
The original poster states that his girlfriend is in the process of earning a master’s degree and that he pays the “lion’s share” of the couple’s household expenses, and that until recently, the couple always communicated at a high level.
After his girlfriend’s sister, who has two children and has been married and divorced twice, broke up with her current boyfriend, it was suggested that she and her children move into the home of the original poster.
“We got a call that they were breaking up and she had nowhere to go. She hadn’t worked and had no rent,” he wrote. †[My girlfriend] asked me if we could record them. I said absolutely not. Her sister was a leech.”
After the refusal, the original poster said he offered to buy food for his girlfriend’s sister, and that he found several organizations that would be willing to help the mother of two. However, when the original poster was up and running, he saw the 28-year-old and her children take their belongings into the house through his doorbell camera.
“I called my girlfriend and immediately asked her what was going on. She said [her sister] needed a place to go for a few hours while her ex moved,” he wrote. “I asked how she got into the house when I locked it. [She] said she made [her sister] an important month ago in case she ever had to go in.”
“I was furious,” he continued. “I decided today to change the locks and get a new garage access code. [My girlfriend] Is angry. But I told her it will stay that way until her sister finds a place.”
“I can’t rely on not coming home and finding 2 children and a wife in my house,” he added.
Providing financial support to a spouse or a partner’s relative can put a lot of strain on a relationship.
In a New York Times advice column published in 2019, an anonymous woman said she and her husband supplemented her struggling sister-in-law’s income with a “hefty monthly payment,” which divided the couple fairly.
Despite her desire to help a family member in need, however, the woman revealed that the expectation of keeping her sister-in-law’s finances afloat weighed heavily on her.
“I’m starting to hate this!” she said The New York Times† “My husband agrees that I am under no obligation to help his sister, but he claims that married people should share all obligations.”
“I’m hesitating between wanting to be generous and hating every penny I give her,” she added.
Complaints about supporting family members are common on the internet, with numerous Reddit threads and articles detailing refusals to support oppressed in-laws and sought-after inheritance funds.
In many cases, internet posters expressing their dismay at having to pay for family members have been backed by commentators — just as the original poster was in the comments section of his viral Reddit post.
In the post’s top commentary, which has received nearly 12,500 votes, Redditor told u/v2den that u/simpleguyy6 was justified in changing his locks and warned that his girlfriend’s actions could be an indication of future events.
†[Not the a**hole] and [in my opinion]”You need to think seriously about your relationship,” they said. “The fact that she went behind your back is a big red flag.”
“I think you need to re-evaluate whether you can trust [your girlfriend]… she crossed boundaries by making her sister a key without your permission,” Redditor added u/ColdstreamCapple in a comment that has received more than 4,000 votes.
Amid a sea of comments encouraging the original poster to reconsider his relationship, one Redditor said OP is not financially responsible for his girlfriend’s sister, assuring he wouldn’t have had to take any action if his boundaries had been respected.
“She’s not your sister and you’ve made your point of view clear from the start,” wrote u/SuperVillain85. “Changing the locks wouldn’t be necessary if everyone else involved had proven to be reliable.”
news week contacted u/simpleguyy6 for comment.