Internet Stunned by Man Who Says Brother & Mom Are ‘Like a Married Couple’

Members of a popular internet forum were left slack-jawed after one man revealed how his brother’s relationship with their mother effectively ruined a happy relationship.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/AITApreciousmom (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said his 25-year-old brother has always been a mama’s boy and detailed the tense aftermath of his decision to warn his sibling’s girlfriend of what her future may look like.

Titled, “[Am I the a**hole] for saying my brother is married to our ‘precious mom’ to his girlfriend?” the post has received more than 11,500 votes and 1,000 comments in the last day.

Beginning with the explanation that he is 38, and the oldest of four, the original poster said his parents divorced when he was 15 and that he decided to move in with his father. The original poster also said that his two middle siblings eventually followed suit, but made it clear that his youngest brother—called J—always preferred living with his mother.

“J was always momma’s boy,” OP wrote. “When I would go to my mom’s house, he would never leave [her] side and after he turned 18, he rejected one of the best university offers in our country to stay with mom.”

“Then he started to take care of our mom full time even though she didn’t need [it],” OP continued. “They are currently like a married couple and my mom never really lets his leash.”

“[Mom] maybe calls us once a month and when she calls, it is mostly about how J [is] being a devoted son and we [are] being a**holes,” OP added.

Five months ago, the original poster said he and his siblings were pleasantly surprised when they were introduced to their youngest brother’s new girlfriend. More recently, however, the original poster said he was confronted by the “really sweet girl” he met months earlier.

“A week ago, she called me and said she wanted to meet,” OP wrote. “When we met up, she asked how could I leave my mom…and abandon my siblings…and why I basically betrayed my family.”

“I told her everything from the divorce to now and said ‘My brother will always have my mom first, you should get used to that,'” OP continued. “[Then] I asked her their future plans and she realized it always involved my mom.”

“Two days later J [came to my front door] drunk and yelled ‘YOU MADE US [BREAK UP], MOM WAS RIGHT YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A HOMEWRECKER. I HATE YOU AND I HOPE YOU DIE ALONE,'” OP added. “I called the cops and he spent a night inside the detention.”

A man’s relationship with his mother, good or bad, can often play a role in his relationships with other women, according to Very Well Mind.

While men who maintain close relationships with their mothers are often mentally healthier and more empathetic, men who remain attached to their mothers into adulthood can suffer from severe mental health issues affecting both themselves and their romantic partners.

“A man who seems to be unhealthily attached to his mother, however, might be more of a problem. This is particularly if he can’t seem to function without her,” Very Well Mind reports. “Boundary problems, dependence, and enmeshment can be harmful to a relationship or marriage.”

Across Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, tales of unhealthy relationships between mothers and adult sons are common, and are often authored by women who find themselves at odds with overbearing mothers-in-law.

Recently, Newsweek has reported on a number of these threads, including examples where a mother-in-law became “depressed” at the sight of her son doing housework and even one in which an especially invasive mother-in-law told her daughter-in-law to “work a bit harder in the bedroom.”

Man and woman arguing
Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole defended one man who warned his brother’s girlfriend of what may be waiting in her future.
Hybrid Images/iStock / Getty Images Plus

In each of those cases, Redditors were quick to call out toxic behaviors exhibited by mothers-in-law, as well as their sons who refuse to intervene. In the case of the original poster, Redditors’ reaction was nearly the same.

“[Not the a**hole],” Redditor u/wilhana wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received nearly 19,000 votes. “You didn’t ruin his life, you stopped his girlfriend from ruining her own by making her see the facts.”

“Good on her for being smart,” Redditor u/meredith_pelican added, receiving more than 2,000 votes.

Redditor u/SassyPieHole173, whose comment has received more than 3,200 votes, offered a similar response.

“At first I thought that it wasn’t your story to tell and that you should have let her work it out on her own,” they wrote. “But then, thinking about the absolute bulls**t she came out with about you abandoning them all, just got me to see how very toxic and incestual the whole situation is.”

“So, on balance, I think you probably saved her from a fate worse than death,” they added.

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