Internet criticizes man who ‘cannot run the house’ like his wife, brings gender roles into play

A man took to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” forum to seek wisdom on the Internet in general. In the now viral post, the man known as @Ashamed_To_Say_ explained that he was retiring and his wife was returning to work.

“This has created a bit of an awkward dynamic as I have no experience doing odd jobs (we got married and moved in together when we were 18, and before that I lived with my mom),” he wrote. “So until recently I never had to lift a finger at home.”

He continued: “My wife packed my lunch and kissed me for 47 years. She was a little shocked to find out I wouldn’t do the same. She had to teach me how to cook because I had very little experience with it. ), now all I can do well is clean So that’s no problem But everything else she used to do I just can’t She’s less than understanding… I feel we should maybe split the tasks “

The man said they were arguing because his wife thinks he can’t do what she’s been doing for “almost 50 years.” After swarms of commentators responded with their thoughts, he later clarified to add that he “was not expecting to help in any way before.”

He continued: “To everyone who said she worked full-time and did everything, she was a SAHM/SAHW for a large majority of our 50-year marriage and 55-year relationship. I’d say she was about 7 years in total in that time.”

The poster ended its long story by pointing out, “Suddenly she expects me to make an effort to play housewife.” All the while, he also admitted that “it’s not as simple as she made it out to be”.

While women typically stayed at home decades ago, that’s not necessarily the case anymore. More than ever, men have taken on the role of staying at home. Still, Gallup reported that 66% of American adults would rather work. The percentage of women is around 56% and 75% among men.

The post touched a nerve. Many agreed to dissect the gender norms of society.

A nice home
A husband points out an interesting article to his wife as she continues to sew, circa 1940.
FPG/Getty Images

“If you’ve been eating a packed lunch for 47 years (plus all the years your mom packed your lunch), how on earth can you not know how to pack a lunch? Good heavens, just ask your wife for a list together to put what she likes in her lunches and mix & match them. My in-laws are in their 70s and had a very traditional marriage, but my FIL knew how to make dinner. Here you are on Reddit… if you If you can figure that out, you can find videos on YouTube teaching you how to cook, do laundry, and even pack lunch. YTA,” said @columbospeugeot at the top of the commentators. It has collected over 29,000 upvotes so far.

“Hmm. I guess the reason he didn’t pay attention to anything she did for him was because he was in the other room watching television or doing something else outside. In his workshop tinkering with one of his pet projects. In the recliner reading the paper. You know. Relax. Sigh,” wrote @greatplainsskater.

“Boy, this guy came to the wrong place for sympathy,” said @Frodo_Picard.

“I mean, I believe they don’t know what the problem is. They thought everything was fine and everyone felt fulfilled and loved their lives. Isn’t this what women like to do with their whole being – just take care of their man???? (The last bit is sarcasm),” added @LimitlessMegan.

And finally, “This lazy baby man needs to make his wife realize why she’s wasted all those years in this marriage. He’s just ‘not able’. If my father, who is older and emigrated from a misogynistic third world country, can learning how to do chores, so can this man. How can he be so utterly useless that he can’t do chores and expect his poor wife to work all day and come home to split the chores?” @Dashcamkitty said.

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