The internet sided with a woman whose friends laughed at her for wearing the same outfit more than once.
Shared in a post to the subreddit r/AmItheA**hole? on Monday (read it in full here), a Reddit user, who has since deleted her account, explained that her feelings were hurt after a friend joked about repeatedly wearing the same dress at different events.
Titled “AITA for wearing the same dress to all my friends’ wedding?”, the post has more than 10,000 upvotes and more than 2,000 comments from fellow redditors sharing their thoughts on her alleged fashion faux pas.
The poster explained that since moving to Canada, she has only had a small amount of warm-weather clothing, such as dresses and skirts. Most of her friends live in California, so she has chosen to wear the same blue dress that suits the weather at all her friends’ weddings.
She wrote: “I now live in Canada with my husband, but went to primary school in the United States. So all my clothes are only for cold weather and I only have a small number of dresses, skirts and clothes for warm weather.
“Most of my friends are in the United States (California) and when I’m there I change 3 dresses (one black, one blue and one for the holidays) and a pair of shorts. So I wore the same blue dress for all my friends’ weddings and in the last one I got an invitation to my friend’s wedding saying, “Don’t you dare wear that same blue dress. I’ve been bullied by my friends for wearing the same thing.”
It seems the poster’s friends found her decision to wear the same outfit to multiple events hilarious, and had discredited her over her fashion choices for a while. However, when her last boyfriend to marry forbade her to wear the blue dress at her ceremony, the Redditor was upset.
She continued: “I only have a small wardrobe and most of my clothes are for function and work (I’m a civil engineer) rather than partying as I only go out a few times a year and it’s normally too cold for dresses.
“AItA for wearing the same dress at all my friend’s weddings and do I have to buy a new dress for my friend’s wedding when she specifically said I can’t wear the same dress? It’s not in bad condition, it’s just a worn a dozen times.”
It’s not just the bride and groom who have to worry about their budget. According to The Wedding Report, the cost of attending weddings is expected to rise this year, with out-of-town guests expected to pay more for travel and lodging. The average cost for a guest to attend a wedding in 2021 was $660-$1,270, depending on whether they chose to travel by car or plane. In 2022, airfare prices are expected to increase by 7 percent per month through the summer, while hotel stays are up 23.6 percent and are expected to continue to rise.
Since the poster is already concerned about traveling costs from Canada to California, and has stated that she’d rather not buy new clothes she won’t be using much, Reddit was quick to dismiss her boyfriend’s petty message.
In a response voted 17,000 times, Incognitoacon said, “NTA RSVP no. And write, ‘I don’t have a budget for a dress and a gift. You choose and contact me.”
Glittering_knave commented, “I’m getting really tired of people trying to control what guests wear at a wedding. Setting a dress code or theme is fine, IMO, but ‘every girl should wear pink and every boy should wear blue,’ or “You have to buy new clothes for the whole family” gets old quickly. Frankly, I couldn’t tell you what I wore to the last wedding I attended, or whether it was new or not.’
Some Redditors pointed out that her boyfriend probably wouldn’t have made the same comment to a male dude.
Whitestaunton said, “Go back and ask her if she expects the men to all be wearing new tuxedos or suits.”
Kheldarson noted, “Can we also point out that if OP were a man, no one would question them for wearing the same suit at every wedding? Never wearing the same thing twice at formal events is really a gender issue.”
Still, some commenters believed her friend probably didn’t want to upset her, and suggested some ways she could respond.
Longjumping_cook_275 said “OP should send a “test the water” response. Something like “But that’s my signature move. Right now I don’t think anyone will recognize me in another dress.”
“If her friend responds with a light-hearted text – it’s just friendly chatter. If she double-clicks and makes it clear she’s serious – she’s an AH.”
NotYourMutha agreed, saying, “Reply with, “so you wanna be the one breaking tradition?” I’d love to see a picture of the dress.”
This hapless Redditor isn’t alone in sharing their wedding guest’s struggles with r/AmItheA**hole. The subreddit recently praised a bridesmaid who eloped on a verbally abusive bridezilla during her wedding, while another bride was dragged out by commentators for kicking her sister out of the bridal party for religious reasons. Not to mention the appearance-obsessed bridezilla who insulted the appearance of her bridesmaid’s newborn baby.