A woman received online support after sharing that she’s involved in an ongoing fight with her boyfriend over a packet of mayonnaise.
Posting in Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum under the username u/throwaway_mayonnaise, the woman asked: “AITA for not giving my mayonnaise to my boyfriend?” The post has amassed more than 6,400 upvotes and over 2,500 comments from Redditors, slamming her “entitled” boyfriend’s poor communication skills.
In her post, the woman said the argument started two months ago while the two were out to eat.
“We both bought a menu [item] that included french fries. So…the cashier gave us both mayonnaise packs at the checkout,” she wrote, adding that she received three packets and her boyfriend only received two.
“We sat down, and before [we] even started eating he jokingly grabbed one of my mayonnaise [packs] from my tray,” she wrote. “Mind you, we often do [this] kind of stuff at home so I thought of that in a playful non-serious way and grabbed the pack back from him while laughing.”
Without saying anything, her boyfriend grabbed the packet a few more times and each time, the woman took it back from him, eventually causing him to shut down.
“He was very quiet and constantly shutting down my every attempt to talk,” the woman recalled.
When the woman asked her boyfriend what was wrong, he admitted he was “upset” that she didn’t let him have the packet of mayonnaise.
“I told him I didn’t understand that he seriously wanted the pack since he grabbed it a few times without expressing himself. He said that I knew he likes mayonnaise more than I do and because he saw the cashier giving me an extra pack, he thought I’d give him that one,” she wrote.
“I expressed to him a couple of times that I’d gladly share the pack if he’d asked properly in the first place, but since he was so rude and acting like he was entitled to that pack without even bothering to ask me I refused to give him,” she continued.
The woman said the argument was never resolved, so now, two months later, they still fight about the incident.
“He defends that I should have laughed it off and given the mayonnaise since it’s not a big deal and since I’m his girlfriend & best friend, he should be able to take anything from my tray without asking because he’d let me,” she said. “I defend that if he’d asked properly instead of just grabbing without saying anything, I’d give him without hesitation.”
As it turns out, repetitive arguments are somewhat common in relationships.
“One of the main reasons the same issues come up in relationships is because of a lack of true communication,” Montrella Cowan, licensed psychotherapist, told Bustle. “Oftentimes, couples don’t even know what communication means.”
To avoid getting into the same fight over and over again, Cowan said couples need to employ active listening. Lesli Doares, a couples consultant and coach, also advised couples to set their egos aside.
“Something may not be important to you, but if it matters to your partner, it needs to be addressed to their satisfaction, Doares told Bustle. “If it matters to both of you, finding a solution you both can accept and implement requires making room for each other’s requirements.”
Many Redditors said u/throwaway_mayonnaise did nothing wrong and blamed the argument on her boyfriend’s poor communication skills.
“My first thought was, he clearly lacks communication skills. He couldn’t ask the cashier for another packet when he saw OP [original poster] got three & he couldn’t ask if he could have OP’s extra packet? He needs to use his mouth and legs before throwing a tantrum,” wrote u/Money-Zucchini5405.
“NTA [not the a**hole]. He needs to use his big boy words. Otherwise, this is a walking (not so much talking) Red Flag,” said u/Fun_Macaroon9841.
u/deathfromace1 added: “NTA….you didn’t start this and are just on receiving end of your BF not being able to talk to you. He should have either just asked you for it without being weird and/or got up and asked for another packet.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/throwaway_mayonnaise for comment.
Other AITA posters to go viral in recent weeks include a woman who’s afraid her husband may miss the birth of their child so he can play a video game, one man whose wife won’t allow him in the delivery room and a woman being stalked by her ex-boyfriend.