Elon Musk is trying to buy Twitter. Having already conquered the world of roof shingles, boys dressed as robots, weird-looking trucks, and even weirder-looking baby names, Musk took to Twitter and reportedly offered $41.4 billion for something he’s already allowed to use for free.
Where will we go if Musk is successful and inevitably destroys Twitter?
Let’s just stop there and chat when we get tired of driving in the city. For NYC readers, a grocery store is like a bodega where people aren’t emotionally invested. There is also parking. And gasoline. And no cats. The point is you can gather there and drink fountain soda or whatever. Best of all, we can listen to Dexter Freebish and wonder what it would be like if we left.
This is closely related to the supermarket. But much less crowded these days. Besides keeping it to Elon Musk, we can just go to the mall and get some money out of Jeff Bezos’ pockets. Assuming there are still storefronts. Still a great place for a large number of small groups to hang out and complain about things.
For geriatric millennials, this will be like a homecoming. The return of profiles with crazy colors and fonts and music lyrics. If they have developed the technology to share TikTok videos in the last 20+ years then you should be fine.
The true purpose of the Internet, beyond pornography, has always been to have all the information from history at your fingertips at all times. What better way to learn than by reading a book? And what better way to recreate the experience of Twitter than by reading something written by someone else, shaking your head and yelling “WRONG” while the person who wrote the original thing completely ignores you because that’s not how books work?
hahahaha. That’s right. The only thing worse than the anonymous people online are the ones you know from real life.