Ash Flanders: The 10 Funniest Things I’ve Ever Seen (On the Internet) | Culture

Hi, my name is Ash Flanders and I like funny internet videos (I won’t say “content”, I’m 40) so much that I once performed an entire show of them.

But the list below isn’t the 10 funniest things I’ve seen on the internet. See, the Guardian has rules about things that are offensive or mean, which meant my top 1,000 clips didn’t qualify. Not a rhubarb lady? No anal massage for relaxation and pleasure supercut? No falling catwalk models, mean cats or injured skateboarders?!? Fine. Those clicks really could have helped. Just sayin’. I guess the next time we meet and you hear me say, “The doorbell is making the rosebud hungry”, just pretend you know what I’m talking about.

Finally, I’m sure you’ve seen some of these before, but I didn’t want to risk it if you hadn’t. It is vital that 90% of people have seen This is Hip-Hop.

1. Mom Commercial

I chose this video, but really you should just watch everything Cole Escola has ever put online. Nobody does it better than them. Their Instagram is also worth your time. Sorry, this is my least funny description because Cole makes me feel deeply inferior.

2. This is hip hop

This forever changed the way my friend Nick and I talk to each other. If we were faced with certain death, we would still scream “Look at my feet!” or “I like points a lot, but it’s not your average points” to each other as the car filled up with water and we reached the end we deserved.

3. Gay couple spends almost 30 years spoiling a plastic baby doll

A very rich, very obnoxious, very New York gay couple got so sick of hearing about their friends’ children that they had a child of their own – a doll named Digby who, of course, they found at a Paris flea market. This is funny in the tiring, funny way that incredibly rich people always are. What started as an inside joke has now dominated this couple’s lives for almost 30 years, while their friends with real children have gone much further. Try to keep your food down when a neighbor, who has to be on the payroll, says, “Digby always surprises me with his style, his zest, his je ne sais quoi.” That said, if I die in that car accident, I’ll come back as Digby — he’s traveled more than I have and wears much nicer clothes.

4. Dad pranks son with shower anxiety

And yet, look at what real parents do to their real children. I’m only laughing at this clip because I know the terror firsthand. My brother used to do this to me all the time when I was a kid, only I sang Enya instead of Katy Perry. don’t ask.

5. How to make chicken bone broth recipe THE BEST nutritious recipe that is inexpensive to make

“Close enough for government work!” our chef gushes, looking at the shredded chicken carcass below her with a pride and confidence I will never possess. Okay, what’s really in that broth?

6. Werner Herzog on chickens

Oh god, I’m in a chicken coop again, aren’t I? Well, apparently I’m not the only one, as Werner clearly spends a lot of time thinking about – and hypnotizing – chickens. But in poultry’s defense, who isn’t hypnotized by that beautifully cropped German monotone?

7. Stop It – Episode #3

Mike Rose’s satire of intervention is impeccable. On this episode of STOP IT, Mercedes is addicted to wearing the same outfit (recognizably, I was just called “an outfit repeater” at rehearsal and felt very attacked) and it’s destroying the lives of everyone around her. CAN THEY BE STOPPED!?!? Mike is also the genius behind queer internet canon Fagney & Gaycey and Planet Unicorn. I love him so much that I demanded that he meet me in LA. Sometimes he even responds to my Instagram!! Hi Mike!

8. Every Woman in a 1970s Movie

Lauren is here to share what the modern 70s cinematic woman wants out of life. She’s done a lot of analysis, smoked a little grass and is ready to give Neal, Michael, Alan, Steven, Paul, Harry, Buster and Ted a piece of her mind. Are you crazy about that, Square?

9. Courtney Love Crashes Madonna’s Interview

A literal crash course in diva physics – here’s what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object… KABLAM! This video is living proof that men are deeply redundant. Courtney’s line to the host after Madge leaves is one for all time: ‘Did I drive you crazy? Were you talking about astrophysics and stuff?’

10. Rory McClory’s Hidden Gems

My loving take on shows like Postcards or Getaway, a stream of infotainment that has always fascinated me. In this episode of Hidden Gems, Rory meets Michael, a man with a very strange and sad museum that started out as a form of therapy. I will always be indebted to Laura Imbruglia for helping me make this. And with 1K views, this is the most viral thing a theater actor like me has ever achieved!

I’ll definitely be back as Digby next time.

Ash Flanders’ cabaret comedy SS Metaphor is on show at the Malthouse in Melbourne from December 5 to 19

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